Food for the Body vs. Food for the Mind

Or is it Food for the Soul? hmmmmm.......

Anybody remember the movie Mermaids? One of the little touches that I loved in that movie was that the mother, played by Cher, only cooked hors d'oeuvres. Yum. This is an excellent diet, especially when you live by yourself! If only it wasn't so hard to spell...... I was tempted to type 'canapes' instead. And, yes, I did have to look it up and, no, I had not spelled it correctly on the first try.

So, earlier today, when foresting through my kitchen in search of breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I was inspired. I had a wheel of the smoothest, softest, yummiest Goat Cheese Brie. I had some delightful smoked salmon. I had about half a box of Roasted Garlic Triscuits. You can see where this is going, can't you? Sounds yummy, doesn't it? You are getting hungry, aren't you? The salmon makes it healthy, right? So it's pretty much the perfect food. But proper hors d'oeuvres always have one last layer, don't they? Think about it..... cracker, cheese, salmon..... something is missing, isn't it? Black olive tapenade or something like that would have been my first choice, but, alas, I am all out. Large green olives stuffed with garlic? Too strong! Aha, bacon!!!!!! Everything is better with bacon. And I mean everything, including chocolate donuts. I'll hear no arguments on this point.

So, I set the bacon out to thaw and then go on my merry way, visions of the culinary festival waiting for me at the end of the day.

My merry way takes me, of course, to the bookstore. I have a perfectly good stack of unread books, as I'm sure you all do as well, but nothing strikes my fancy and after my reading binge of the last couple of days, my "on deck" backlog is looking alarmingly thin. My personal theory seems to be screw the canned goods and bottled water, at least have enough unread books on hand to wait out the aftermath of the apocalypse.

I buy seven books, but the two that immediately catch my attention upon returning home and settling into my one uncomfortable chair (the one with poor lighting and no back or neck support) are:

• The History of Lucy's Love Life in Ten and Half Chapters (A comedy in which Lucy steals a time machine and tracks down the great lovers of the past - Casanova, Byron, that kind of thing. In other words, literary chick lit) by Deborah Wright and
• The Good Good Pig: The Extraordinary Life of Christopher Hogwood by Sy Montgomery.

[As an aside, you'll note that I've removed the section about what I'm reading from my blog because, frankly, I can't keep up. There's every reason to believe, barring any unforeseen phone calls, that I'll finish all seven of the books I bought today by the time I go to bed tomorrow..... I'm a glutton, I know.]

The pig book is shorter so that's the one I chose, thinking I don't want to be in the middle of a Really, Really Good Book when 8 o'clock rolls around and it's time to flip back and forth between the Biggest Loser and American Idol. When your life is as full as mine, you really have to plan these things carefully, you know.

Well, I finished the pig book promptly at 5:15 to the sounds of my grumbling, rumbling tummy and my softly falling tears. This was such a sweet book about such a great pig. I'm a total sucker about animal books, you know. Yes, not to spoil the plot, but he does die at the end after 14 wonderful years with his wonderful people, and yes, I'm not kidding, it made me cry. Boo Hoo for Christopher Hogwood, a really good pig.

And what better way to top of a good read than with some delectable hors d'oeuvres?

Ack!!!!! Bacon!!!!!!! How, oh how, can I eat bacon after reading such a charming, wonderful pig book??????? I'm faced with an absolute dilemma, obviously. My tasty treat would be horribly incomplete without that final topping and I've been humming about it in the back of my head all day. Yes, yes, yes, I suppose I could get re-dressed, hop in the car, go to the store, and get some black olive tapenade after all. But what am I going to do with this package of thawed bacon? Honestly, I can't just throw it away - I love bacon! I adore bacon! I dream of bacon! I wish I could marry bacon! Other people fantasize about dripping chocolate on their lover's..... well, enough about that. The point is, throwing away bacon, really, would go against everything I hold dear.

So, of course, I make the hor d'oeuvres with the bacon and they are totally and completely fantastic in every way. But I feel the need to say a blessing to all the piggy brethren of Christopher Hogwood who have sacrificed so much so that I might have my complete and perfect hor d'oeuvres. I'm raising my water bottle in salute right now, I promise.

Thank you for my towers of tantalizing tastiness.