Today I Climbed a Tree

I'm having one of those beautiful, rare days. The nearly perfect weather is certainly playing a big part, but I think that even if it were gray, rainy, and cold I might still feel connected and open to all things today. It's the kind of day where it's almost unbearable to be inside. Where you want to open all the blinds and windows and let in as much light (and even noise!) as possible -- and who cares if people can see you. The kind of day where you want to buy flowers for yourself, just because they are beautiful. The kind of day where you lift your head, stop looking at your feet, meet everyone in the eye, smiling hugely and say a strong "hello" as you pass. The kind of day where you can lay in the grass at a park and stare at the sky for an hour or watch the people and be joyful that you are alive.

I was walking in Discovery Park and towards the end of my regular path, there's the greatest tree. Every time I see that tree, no matter what, it makes me happy. Today, as I came around the corner and there it was, there was a man taking a picture of it with his cell phone. He had the best smile on his face, but looked just a little bit sheepish at having been caught loving this tree. So I said, "It brings out your inner seven-year-old, doesn't it? You just want to climb that tree, just because, don't you?" He laughed and said, "Let's do it." So we did. We laughed but didn't talk. We didn't exchange names or numbers or life stories. We just shared our happiness and wonder at that tree and went our separate ways.

I listened to Sunshine on my Shoulders in the car going home and seriously teared up with happiness while I sang along.

If I had a day that I could give you
I'd give to you a day just like today
If I had a song that I could sing for you
I'd sing a song to make you feel this way

What a great day!

I'm Back

Howdy folks (I hear that phrase in brother Mike's voice for some reason).

So I've talked to all of you, thus you already know about my big weekend. That makes it hard to find something to write about frankly. I admit that I haven't been writing at all lately -- on this blog or elsewhere -- or reading either. Mostly on the off-time, I've been watching TV, movies, and sleeping, but not in a sad, escapist way. I kinda have that disoriented feeling like when you come home after a long vacation.....

I'm choosing to view this as a germinating period, where clearly LOTS of stuff is going on inside but it's not ready to come out yet. So, bear with me and keep being your wonderful, patient, supportive selves.

I'm frustrated and irritated with the job hunt today. Friday I interviewed with Lance Leasure at Catalysis (yes, his name still makes me giggle) and think it went well, so hope they call me back. They don't seem to be in a huge hurry though.

Yesterday, had another round with Fulcrum. Shit! What is it going to take for them to make a decision? I really hope the boss is not this indecisive all the time 'cause that will drive me bananas. I had the initial phone screen, the 1st in-person interview with the boss, a second interview with a group of PMs, and yesterday they said I would meet with the CFO, HR, and the boss again. I was hopeful they would actually make an offer, but no, it really was more basic information gathering on their part -- and the boss asked me several of the same questions again and didn't remember asking them before or what I had answered. Maybe they did it on purpose as a test of some kind because I really did have trouble not being really impatient with him......

Sigh......

On a more positive note, I had this really great horoscope this morning. Wouldn't it be great if I got a really challenging, interesting project today?!?

Today's Cancer Horoscope: Feb 21, 2008
For those who know the real you, it is frustrating to see your lack of confidence, dear Cancer. The range of your talents and abilities is startling to the rest of us mere mortals, yet you rarely give yourself credit for all that you are capable of. Today you are given an opportunity to participate in a project that could make or break your career. Rather than hesitating, weighing your capabilities in your mind and coming up short, get over yourself and just do it! Not only can you do this, you can do it better than anyone else.

Later folks!

Short & Sweet

"You can't love yourself and approval at the same time."

There's a lot of stuff churning around in my head lately, but can't articulate it yet. Sorry I haven't been posting, but right now I need to think.

Love you all.

How am I going to keep myself from giggling?

I have an interview tomorrow with a guy named Lance Leasure. Seriously. Pretty good porn star name, but not so much for a director of project management! How am I going to keep a straight face?

Damn Horoscopes!

Today's Cancer Horoscope: Feb 08, 2008
It is never very agreeable to have to question oneself, dear Cancer. But this is the main objective of today's planetary energies, here to launch you into new adventures. So, take advantage of the configuration to look inside yourself and find the source of some of your failures. This is not an easy exercise, to be sure, but it will do you an enormous amount of good. Just be honest with yourself.

Well, shit, this makes me resentful. Have I be doing much of anything else than pondering, sifting, probing the source of my failures? It may appear that I'm reading a book, or watching a movie, or taking a bath, or surfing the internet, or applying for jobs, or having a conversation, or taking a walking, or driving from here to there, or brushing my teeth, or bowling, or writing a post, or eating my supper but behind all that I am constantly picking away and asking why, why, why?

I find this irritating to no end. "Do it some more!" this horoscope mocks. Or do it better. Or do it differently. Argh! Not only have I failed, but I'm failing at determining why I failed or how I failed and why I'm failing still. Take cover. Today I want to growl at someone.

How I Feel Today

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah -- blah. Blah, blah, and blah. Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah. No word on the job yet. Blah blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah blah. "Blah blah blah blah blah."

Blah blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah. Time for a nap. Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah! Blah blah blah blah.

My Monster learns to Bowl.

My Monster tries to Hide.

My Monster likes to Climb.

My Monster plays on the Slide.

That's all for now. My Monster wore me out today!

Other People's Blogs

Of course, since starting my own, I've been randomly surfing other people's blogs. A lot of people are doing some really creative stuff out there. And a lot of people are not.

At first I was really, really struck by how many Brazilians have blogs. Who knew? Page after page with 'de Janeiro' on it somewhere as I was skimming along. One page finally caught my eye with some cool photography and I realized it was the DATE (of January), not the place. '31 de Janeiro 2008' and I somehow kept thinking Rio.

I'm feeling sheepish.

Isn't it interesting how some things can embarrass us, even when we are all alone and know one knows?

The other I noticed is that a lot of people have a lot more pictures and many of them are quite good. And many of them are not. So, here's a pic I like, just because.

The mural on the stairway of Karolyn's apartment in Prague.

Imagine getting to see that every day when you get home!

I admit to some laziness and anti-climax feelings today after the big round of job interviews -- despite applying for a couple of new things this morning, I'm pretty much feeling as if I'm just waiting around hoping to hear and it's vaguely irritating. I'm pretty much just killing time this morning. Blech. I'm going to go read a book.